Did you just call me a SIR?!?!?

*Sigh* I can't even begin to estimate how many times I've been called "sir" in the past three weeks. It's not like I didn't expect it. My roommates and I even planned to keep a tally of the number of times each of us was referred to as a male by one of the plebes...however, somehow that plan never panned out. Nevertheless, on Day 18 of plebe summer one of the 9 plebes in MY squad called me a sir. I addressed his misstatement and told him to write a letter to my parents explaining to them why he felt compelled to call their daughter a sir. Here is the priceless letter he wrote. I think I'm going to frame it rather than mail it.

Dear Mr. and Mrs. G,

First and foremost, I would like to apologize for the time you spend reading this letter. It was through my own shortcomings that I was instructed to propagate the information found in this letter.

Through a routine barrage of motivational encouragement, I became so overwhelmed and excited as to call your lovely daughter a "sir." This transposition was by no means intentional-- rather, it was a fine example of a breach of discipline on my part. Clearly your daughter is not a "sir"-- this goes without saying! Yet amends must be made, and this letter is the least I can do to make them. Your daughter is a woman, a female of the human species. Details regarding the differneces between men and women include, but are certainly not limited to: women live longer than men, on average; and men's pelvic bones are more narrowly built than women's.

Thank you for your time.

With my Sincerest Apologies,

An unnamed plebe.