Can you blame me?

Life as a Bachelor

I've officially reached the halfway point of my end-of-the summer internship. It's been interesting to say the least. Some of the most memorable moments, however, have come after I've returned back to my temporary home for the night. My adviser, a female, has been away on business for the past week, and I've been left alone as the lone girl amidst two college-aged guys and one middle-aged man. I really didn't think anything of it at first, but there are definitely some striking differences between the house I'm living in now and the house I grew up in.

Perhaps the most striking difference comes when we sit down to dinner every night. First off, it goes without saying that we sit in front of the TV to eat dinner. As if we would even consider eating anywhere else! Next, the quantity of food served for four people is way more than I could even imagine. One night we had chicken, and when I went up to take my piece, I realized that there were two whole chickens on the platter. Half a chicken for each person! I quietly cut my half-chicken in half again and left the remaining quarter for one of the men to take care of for me. A few nights later we had bratwurts soaked in beer in onions and fried on the grill... I can't think of a manlier food than brats..but boy were they yummy!

Next up are the dinnertime conversations. For example, tonight I found myself defending my gender and our desire to carry purses. I was told that I should convince all females that purses are unnecessary. Then, one of them commented about how girls even carry the most impractical purses just because they look good with outfits and how he ends up carrying an extra set of keys and a cellphone. I think they finally agreed that purses are necessary when one of them pointed out that they really like it a lot when girls where "painted-on pants" and that trying to stuff anything into the pockets would ruin the whole effect. True that!

Now that I've reached the end...

Only two more days of plebe summer. Gee whiz! I thought these final days would never come, and I'm not the least bit sorry that they're here. I'm hot, I'm tired, and I'm just altogether sick of seeing, listening, and hanging out with plebes. But every cloud must have a silver lining, right? So here's my list of favorites from First Set Plebe Summer 2005:

Favorite Quote: "Ruthie, Ruthie, Ruthie....it's not about HOW MUCH you know, it's WHO you know that's important. It's called networking." - Mr. Jonny "I'm a Ninja" Kane

My Other Favorite Quote: "I wouldn't trust you to clip my toenails!" -Ford to one of my screwed up plebes who said he wants to be an orthopedic surgeon in the Navy when he graduates.

New Favorite Drink: Wawa Lemonade Tea. It's amazing how much all of us get excited when someone makes a Wawa run and brings back jugs of this for everyone. The best was when Ford and I finished off a bottle of it in front of the plebes...I could see the drool coming their mouths as they wished for a refreshing sip of the most delectable ice tea known to man.

Favorite Movie: I've seen two movies in the movie theater and two here at school, and it's hard for me to decide...mostly because I fell asleep during the movie that I'm pretty sure would be my hands down favorite if I had just been awake through those middle 30 minutes. Anyway, the 4 movies I've seen were Bewitched, Wedding Crashers, Van Wilder, and Maid in Manhattan. I'll let you guess which one I fell asleep in.

Favorite time of the day: Nap Time!

Favorite New Hobby: Cards. I've rekindled my relationship with card-playing, this time with Rummy and some game called Pitch. I'm equally horrible at both games, and maybe I should dump them and pick up Scrabble again, not that I'm really much better at Scrabble. I think the reason I enjoy board games and card games so much is because of the social interaction that goes along with them ... maybe that's why I have problems winning...

Favorite Computer Game: Minesweeper. This is a long-time favorite game of mine, and I have returned to it after a long hiatus. I can't tell you how many games of Minesweeper I play a day. Enough so that my roommates comment on how I never stop playing it...even though they're not always even in the room when I'm playing. There's just something about fast, endless mouse-clicking with the rush of beating the clock to get a high score that I just can never pull myself away from the computer.

Favorite PEP Exercise: Knee Rolls. Haha, not really. It's much more fun to WATCH the plebes do them than to actually do them ourselves. I really don't think they do much good, and they certainly look totally goofy.

Favorite Plebe: No, I really don't like any of them. I do have a goofiest plebe though. He's the one who wrote that letter to my parents a few days ago. Yesterday at lunch, we were all discussing what the scariest moments in our lives were. His scariest moment was about when he was struck by lightning. Boy, does that explain a lot! The best part was that he said that when he saw it striking, his first thought was, "My God, that's beautiful!!"

Sometimes it's hard to be a Ruthie

I try to go through life and blend in with the crowd. Being just an average Jane would be a-okay with me. However, the more I think about it, the more I think I belong in the "Born Loser" comic strip. You know how most people can play it cool, going through life without bringing attention to themselves for doing or saying something stupid? Well, that's not me. I think I am the master of being that person who unknowingly walks around with toilet paper stuck to the bottom of her shoe.

For instance, I am now sitting at my computer with a bruised left butt cheek. It hurts like heck! You see, this morning I was cleaning my floor with my roommate and another friend, and we had the entire floor space covered with industrial strength floor stripper. And when I say "industrial strength," I mean this floor stripper will eat the skin off your hands and knees. We even decided that in order to expedite the process, we wouldn't even dilute the solution to 10 parts for every 1 part of cleaner. Now, the floor was obviously a little slippery, and I THOUGHT I was being careful when I was walking across the floor. However, being the ungraceful person that I am, as I tried to cross the floor to scrub the corners under one of the desks, I slipped and totally ate it, landing on my left hip...yowsers!

So there I was, feeling like a fool and lying in a puddle of liquid that is supposed to burn my skin off before my very eyes!! My roommate and buddy were immediately like, "Ruthie, get out of here!!" So, I ran to the bathroom and scrubbed myself. I think I did an okay job because my skin is still intact. It did burn for a little while; however, I don't think the cleaner harmed my skin as much as the fumes killed my brain cells.

I was eventually allowed back in the room to help clean, but not without strict supervision. Gee whiz, I really am a winner!

Did you just call me a SIR?!?!?

*Sigh* I can't even begin to estimate how many times I've been called "sir" in the past three weeks. It's not like I didn't expect it. My roommates and I even planned to keep a tally of the number of times each of us was referred to as a male by one of the plebes...however, somehow that plan never panned out. Nevertheless, on Day 18 of plebe summer one of the 9 plebes in MY squad called me a sir. I addressed his misstatement and told him to write a letter to my parents explaining to them why he felt compelled to call their daughter a sir. Here is the priceless letter he wrote. I think I'm going to frame it rather than mail it.

Dear Mr. and Mrs. G,

First and foremost, I would like to apologize for the time you spend reading this letter. It was through my own shortcomings that I was instructed to propagate the information found in this letter.

Through a routine barrage of motivational encouragement, I became so overwhelmed and excited as to call your lovely daughter a "sir." This transposition was by no means intentional-- rather, it was a fine example of a breach of discipline on my part. Clearly your daughter is not a "sir"-- this goes without saying! Yet amends must be made, and this letter is the least I can do to make them. Your daughter is a woman, a female of the human species. Details regarding the differneces between men and women include, but are certainly not limited to: women live longer than men, on average; and men's pelvic bones are more narrowly built than women's.

Thank you for your time.

With my Sincerest Apologies,

An unnamed plebe.

Can I buy you a votive candle?

Don't ask me how I found these because I don't really remember, but the other day I came across a website (or 2) with a list of Catholic pick-up lines. I still don't know if I think they're funny or totally weird. Here's a sampling of the most notable ones, good and bad:

1) Those are the most beautiful scapular brown eyes you have.

2) Can I buy you a votive candle?

3) What's a good girl like you doing in a confessional like this?

4) I'd like to study the theology of YOUR body. (I think this one is a little too PG to be considered a "Catholic" pick-up line.)

5) My Sacred Heart statue started beating faster when I saw you.

6) Didn't I see your face on a holy card?

I'm not completely sure how I would react if someone used one of these on me. I'm guessing I would either start crying, fall over laughing, or close my eyes, scrunch my nose, and put my fingers in my ears to block out the presence of the complete creeepo standing in front of me. There was only one pick-up line that really appealed to me. I wish I could say that it's head and shoulders above all the rest of them, but it's actually just as cheesy as the ones above and is actually not much better than "my guardian angel thinks you're cute." So, in order to spare the suspense....here it is...Ruthie's favorite Catholic pick-up line:

"I lost my rosary. May I please use your fingers?"

New Beginnings

I've been waiting for the opportune time to start blogging again, and the onset of spring seems perfect. I'm back at school after a relaxing (hmm) break at home, and I'm ready to conquer the end of the year. Starting over now instead of on January 1st is much more fun. The weather is getting better, people are happier because of it, and life in general is grand.

Since the last time I blogged (Dec 1st, eek!), I've been super-busy. Highlights from the past 4 months include an amazing trip to San Francisco, singing at the Presidential Inauguration, singing the National Anthem at the Super Bowl, seeing Jimmy Buffett in concert AGAIN, and many fun little things in between. Too bad I wasn't blogging then...so many fun things.

I never thought that after so many exciting things, I would think I need a new start. From the outside, it seems like things are pretty good, and for the most part, they are. But some spring cleaning is needed, so here's a go on a new chapter of my blog...err, life.